The biggest lie that I told myself as an ADHD lawyer…
Not that I was lazy,
Or comparing myself to others,
It wasn't anything to do with the established systems…
Well, not exactly.
After I started embracing my ADHD, I found strategies to nurture my natural abilities without burnout.
I had a real work / life balance,
I was progressing in my career,
AND I was smashing all my targets!
Except one….
This had haunted me my whole career, held me back and caused intense shame.
Why couldn't I get on top of my chargeable time target!!!!???
It took a long time for me to understand why, because the tasks I found easiest were the chargeable ones:
- drafting,
- strategy review,
- settlement formulation etc
And I had loads of these.
So why couldn't I hit my chargeable target you may wonder?
It was an uncomfortable realization; one I was afraid to say out loud.
To be honest, I still am, but it has to be said:
Expecting to conquer my chargeable hour target sustainably, without significant support from my firm, was one big fat lie.
This is because the chargeable hour model actively punishes the way ADHD brains work.
The tasks I loved were also chargeable, they genuinely lit me up.
This meant I could hyperfocus on them and complete them at lightening speed.
Problem is, my chargeable time target only measures chargeable time actually spent, not value delivered.
This meant I was under credited for the chargeable work I produced compared to my colleagues.
The solution?
Find more chargeable work.
Problem was this involved:
- liaising with colleagues,
- navigating unfamiliar filing processes on unfamiliar files
- following numerous processes for new files
- lots of admin!
I was told these tasks shouldn't take long.
(shouldn't, according to who?)
The reality?
I found these tasks really hard.
Most ADHDers find these really hard and it takes us a lot longer than is accommodated for in our daily workloads.
Worst of all, we can't bill for any of these.
So that time just disappears.
Invisible on the timesheet, but very real on the clock.
So, I would end up spending three or four hours to extract a one hour chargeable task. 😞
I was getting hit from both sides.
Made to feel stupid for taking too long with 'easy' non-chargeable tasks.
Meanwhile being under credited for my chargeable work.
And given no upward adjustment on my chargeable time to reflect value delivered.
Why don't we do that? Isn't the value delivered what we should be focusing on, not the time spent?
If we are to keep the chargeable time model we need to even up the playing field for the lawyers involved.
ADHD lawyers need better support with the tasks they find hard without shame,
Even if it is a huge personal cost, ADHD lawyers will always find a way to meet their targets.
But leaving ADHD lawyers to find their own work arounds, at huge cost to their health, is, quite simply, exploitation.
