How to get the most from your initial consult with your divorce lawyer
Initial consults are usually 45 minutes and free (or a small one-off cost). You want to make the absolute most of it so you can make an informed choice about whether to retain that lawyer.
Here's how to prep, ADHD-brain included.
Before you go
Write your questions down before you go. You will think of the perfect question at 2am three days from now, and you will not remember it in the room. Keep a running note from today. Before the meeting, write out your questions with a chunky gap under each so you can put the answers directly underneath.
If the appointment isn't first thing, make good use of your "waiting mode" and log into the meeting at the start of the day to iron out any tech issues. Once you're good to go, mute yourself and turn off your camera — then set an alarm for 5 or 10 minutes before the meeting so you can clear your head and go over your notes.
If it's face to face, aim to get to the solicitor's office 30 minutes before your appointment. That gives you a buffer if you're running late or something unexpected happens. If all goes to plan and you arrive early, grab a coffee and get really clear about what you want to achieve.
What to bring — and what not to stress about
- Dates of birth, your wedding date, and how long you lived together before marrying.
- A rough idea of the assets you and your spouse have and the value of each. You might not know much — listing what you don't know is just as important as listing what you do.
- A rough sense of your goals and concerns — time with your children, what happens to the house, staying amicable, protecting a specific asset.
Financial documentation isn't needed at this stage. Don't overthink it — "I don't know yet" is a completely valid answer.
During the meeting
At the start, ask if you'll get a note of the issues discussed or if you need to keep your own. Also ask when you'll get an opportunity to ask questions.
Keep your written questions in front of you. As your lawyer answers, write what they say in the gap you left. Don't be shy — ask your lawyer to confirm you've understood correctly.
This meeting won't give you a full roadmap or a predicted outcome. It's a starting point, not the whole process compressed into 45 minutes.
After
You don't have to decide anything on the spot. Instructing your lawyer to act, or taking time to think it over, are both legitimate next steps. With something as personal as a divorce, you need to be certain you gel with your lawyer and that you trust them. It's OK to take your time.
